Seven Words

Image

Taken by my older sister, Arlette, a few years ago. (She was most likely playing with the camera.)

“Don’t be afraid

To live

In light.”

-my daily prompt response

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My Theme to “RITS” (CRR)

Thinking about the possible outcomes in the play A Raisin in the Sun, I could not think of a positive possibility that was secure enough to be called the end. In fact, my first thought about the book was, “How does it end? Where’s the rest of it?” Well, turns out the author, Lorraine Hansberry intended it to be that way for a reason. Thanks to this, my teacher, Ms.Kuei, has asked us what we think Hansberry is trying to convey, ending her story that way.  I believe she is trying to say that family will always go through problems, but we might never know what will really happen after the curtain goes down.

 In the end of every act, I’ve noticed it ends in a cliffhanger. Things are tense in the younger household. Mama wanted Walter, her son, to defend the unborn baby from his wife, Ruth. In return, Walter replied with nothing. Mama then exclaimed” you are a disgrace to your father’s memory. Somebody get me my hat!”(43). Man, I just can’t tell what mama’s going to do. From here, I can’t even tell if she’s going to leave and never come back. Although, I can still remember when my parents were on the verge of divorce, they held strong to each other. None of us anticipated that our family would still be together. In this case, we don’t know what will happen to the younger family.

 I know, this isn’t the ending, but if I did take a quote from the finale, my response would still be the same. There is no “real” end to this tale. The world will continue to circle the sun and turn on its axis without fail. Every problem they face won’t make time stop for them. Life will continue to move forward, even if they are bombed by the white people. Life will continue whether it’s calm or the storm.

Drowning In Poison (FC)

Everything is a big decision for me. It’s just something going on that I don’t understand myself. As a result, doubt has followed me since school began. As a student athlete, I deal with everyday homework, high school drama, family life, long practices, and everything else. I feel like everyone expects so much of me that it gets to be a bit much. That is when my negative feelings kicked in. Feelings of frustration and uselessness have haunted me.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel overwhelmed and terrible. If I had to compare my life to something, I would say I’m drowning in poison. Why? I focus on my lovely sports, water polo and swimming, more than academics. I absolutely adore the game and play as hard as I can. I just can’t help it; I fell in love with the sport. Problem is, I’m too exhausted to get any work done after the game or practice is over. Because of this, I start to put myself down in everything I do and place a bigger weight on my shoulders. As much as I fight with this bad side of me, I almost never win. It finds its way back to me.

To be honest with myself and everyone, I’m scared. Am I able to do swimming this year? Is it just me who feels this way? Is sophomore year getting to be too much for me? Should I forget sports altogether and focus on my studies? These are the types of questions that send chills of fear down my spine and give me goose bumps. Sports have become a part of me. At the same time, I want to do well in school. I need to answer these questions, but I’m afraid of the answer. I don’t want to keep crying or just quit, but at the same time, I want an escape from everything. I want to relax for once. I want to be free.

Will You Take Me As I Am? ( SSR )

Will you take me as I am? I wouldn’t take myself but God would.To be honest with myself, I was in a state of shock when I heard this question and failed to ask myself whenever I pray:” Will you take me as I am? ”. It seriously made an impact on how I really thought and still think of God and how merciful he is. I didn’t understand the song at first and didn’t even think the song was Christian! Now, I see Him in a new light that I failed to see before.

I can relate to this in many ways considering my life was never lollipops and gumdrops. This made me think about how I would first try to fix things on my own before even considering God could help me however I go to him. I thought my problems and troubles were too insignificant for the Almighty God who freed the Israelites from Egypt. I thought I needed to be “decent” before approaching him. Boy was I wrong.

What I thought was right was the complete opposite of what I should have done. Instead of staying up every night thinking of how I could resolve my own problems, I needed to ask him a simple question: Will you take me as I am? Who knew these seven words would bring me peace of mind,  soul, and spirit? I was shocked at the fact that this question’s answer was so simple. God always will take us however we are and helps us change  from the inside out.

Upon hearing whether God would take me, I sighted in relief. After hearing he would, the smile on my face became visible and grew a mile wide. I was happy God would accept a piece of trash like me and turn me into a piece of art. My expectations weren’t high but my joy skyrocketed. Those four to five minutes of music and lyrics changed my mood from majorly let down to happy and at peace.